You're my little dorito
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
