dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
