Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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