another moral hangover. fuck.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
