i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
