Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
