I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
How external is "for external use only"?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
