i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
