I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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