Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
