I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
