The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
