Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
