Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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