im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Come see our sink grown plant.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
