But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
