he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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