I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
