But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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