just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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