you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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