I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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