Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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