You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
