i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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