why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
