i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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