my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so let's talk penis.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
