I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
