she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
