i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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