You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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