Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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