The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have aggressive nipples.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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