using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She bit a glass in half.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
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