What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
