Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We're too hungover to prance.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
