Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
