i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
