I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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