therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
