remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
