what day is it and did you see me today?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just googled if crying burns calories
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
