I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
