Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
