3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
