Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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