worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
