I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
