I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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