so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it was like eating out sand paper
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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