WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
