only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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