are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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