if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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