Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
