if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
