she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize