Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
