Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
