she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
