Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
