I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
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at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
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Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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