How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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