Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize