I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
